The online community of knife collectors, A Knife Family Forged in Steel
Okay folks! Its contest time again. And today we have for you a never before used contest! New in box with paperwork written by none other than William Shakespeare in a rare phase of his, after his Blue Period, that many highly respected historians call his Sharp Period. The box is completely made of 100% recycled Neanderthal organic toilet paper and is completely biodegradable! This contest was carried by Admiral Byrd on his incredibly famous trek to Timbuktu (slightly less famous than his expedition to the South Pole) and has a signed certificate from his aesthetician responsible for his pedicures and general foot health, Paula L. Piggy. Sealed away in a designer Gucci waterproof sleeping bag once used by the Captain of the Titanic, the contest was perfectly preserved in an airtight room in the Russian space station until it crashed to earth and was found by a roving band of Irish geologists in Guadalupe searching for the lost King Solomon's treasure. After the geologists were captured by rogue vegan ballet dancers, this contest made its way across Europe only to be seized by Paul Franco Bunjoor, senior fungus advisor to King Eugene of Atlantis before being stolen again by rioting Belgian throat singers, after a Dali Lama concert went terribly wrong. After being presumed missing for a million and three years, it was found by Stephen Hawking's barber whilst on safari in East Greenland where he generously donated it to the Louvre' museum. After an incredibly successful tour of the most famous kindergarten cloakrooms of Monte Carlo, it was released to the public where we spared no expense to obtain it to bring it to you, our members! Our senior aquisititions and relic analyst went to great lengths to bring this to you, including learning to do the Macarena in a pink tu-tu and lime green leg warmers while wearing soccer cleats and singing the Peruvian National Anthem in Yiddish accompanied by the Village people and David Hasslehoff.
But wait!!! There's more!!!
The winner of our contest, after submitting their entries in a sealed, platinum laced solid gold cubic zirconium powdered sheep’s bladder, which will be stored in an impenetrable child proof Aspirin container (once owned by Dr. Ugh Gruunt, special advisor and senior theoretical physicist to the inventor of the wheel, Rolly Treadless) and buried 37 1/2 thousand leagues under the sea (since 40 000 was copywrited) until judging. Judging will be done by YOU, our millions of members! A contest of this magnitude has not been seen since the infamous 1733 riots when Sheik Abu Bakashooshoo's titanium plated left toenail was put up on Ebay for a ridiculous 14 deutschmarks. Insanity! The lengths we go to for our billions of valued members is honestly, quite staggering! So for you, our trillions of members, and the bazillion people watching with bated breath across the globe, here are the rules!
Okay...I hope you all get where I am going with this. For this contest, I will post a photo of a knife. For the chance to win our contest, you must make an advertisement for this knife in the picture. Said ad will be as absurd and crazy as you can get it! Materials, lineage, assembly, history and owners are completely up to you. Get silly! Get ridiculous! Your imagination (and a PG rating) is the only limitation. Entries will be submitted to me VIA email or messaged through IKC so that people's ideas will be original and unaffected by other entries. After one week, I will post the entries here on IKC, and phase two of the contest will commence. Members who have not entered a submission to the contest will then have the chance to vote on their favourite ad and choose our winner!
Anyone submitting an entry for the contest will have the chance to win a Trestle Pines knife:
Old Growth Ash Handle Superior
3.75" OAL Closed
2 13/16" Blade (bolster to tip)
Cut Swedge Top of Blade
Brass Pins & Liners
But wait! After all entries are submitted and posted, you will have the chance to vote on your favourite entry and win a genuine one of a kind iKC Coffee mug!! The winner of this coffee mug will be chosen from the members who did not submit an advertisement but voted on the entries. Those of you who enter an ad may vote as well, but not for yourself, and will *not* be eligible for the secondary prize. I will leave the voting open for one week.
So get those creative juices flowing and channel your inner used car salesman! Let's see those advertisements!
SELL THIS KNIFE!!
Send entries to email@example.com and I will send a confirmation email back to acknowledge your entry to the contest. I will also post in this thread who has submitted entries. After one week, I will post all entries received to this thread for everyone to read, enjoy and vote on. *Everyone* is able to vote on entries, staff included, but any entrants voting cannot vote for their own entry. Good luck to all! And remember…this all goes by member votes, so be as creative and imaginative as you can, folks!
The setting is a TV, ‘knife, infomercial’. With a ‘tease’, starting at the beginning of the show,
“ Folks, stay tuned, we will have something, VERY SPECIAL, coming up Just for you, from Us. And it ONLY From us. You can’t get it at ANY store, or ANY Internet outlet. It is made, For YOU, from Only US”
(This is repeated, 3 more times before, it is, ‘announced’, about 1/2 way thru)
OK, Ready for this !, Pay attention. Remember, this knife is, VERY SPECIAL. It is made, For YOU, from Only US, and that is ONLY us. You can’t get it at ANY store, or ANY Internet outlet.
We have had this, Specially Made, for YOU.
(Camera shows photo of Knife on turntable, in top left of screen)
This is a 12 Inch , Razor sharp, Special Hardened Steel, with a laminated, 8 inch blade, fighting knife.
It also has a Built IN, rail mount for a Scope.
Folks, this is Very Special, Very Special. AND VERY Unique. Yes Unique. AND it can ONLY be gotten Here. NO ONE ELSE, Has it. Or can even GET It. It is Exclusive to Here! Yes, Exclusive, and ONLY Here.
And the Price, Shipped to YOU, Are you ready to write this order number down? I’ll give you a Min to get a Pen and Paper. Remember the Free, 800 Phone number is at the Bottom of your screen. Also our Free, Web Site address, is Listed. Order Right away, because when they are gone, their will be no more. It is Exclusive to You, from Us.
Are you ready, here is the Order Number, 123456.
(screen now flashes, order number, above the toll Free number & web address)
Get ready, the Price? ONLY, $499.95 ONLY
Now That is Quite a Bargain, It would be a Bargain at Twice the Price.
(screen now adds a field, which contains a slowing rolling up number of knifes ordered)
Now, Here is the reason YOU need to HURRY, We ONLY have 100 of these. That’s ONLY a 100. Get that Order in before it is to late. Operators are standing by.
(screen counter shows 10)
Now, If that is not enough of a Bargain, We are going to, THROW IN, a FREE, 30MM Tridgan Variable Power Scope, which Is LIGHTED, FREE.
(numbers of units ordered, now reaching 25)
AND, AND, a FREE, Holograph Scope, and a FREE Mount.
ALL That, is a $205.00 Value. FREE. No extra shipping or handling, No extra Insurance, No Extra postage.
All FREE, and Included with the Knife.
(screen counter is now up to 26)
We are SO Excited about this package that we have made, Exclusively for YOU, we don’t want, YOU to loose this Opportunity. Order Now, before they are all gone.
(screen counter is now up to 51)
(photo on split screen Now changes to fully outfitted knife)
Tell you what, When you order NOW, we will include, FREE, a front and rear, automatic, flip up scope covers, for FREE.
(Screen split removed, and person, is now holding fully configured knife)
(Screen Counter moves up to 75)
Folks, Hurry, We have made this Special knife, Exclusively for YOU.
We have a Lot of others to sell, and when this one is gone, it will be GONE.
(Screen counter now moves up to 89)
(Gal comes on, just the edge of the screen, with headset and microphone piece, and says: Ron, you have spent to much time on this, we need to move on)
Folks, Folks, Just Have to move on. Remember the Item Number, or tell the Operator, ’Special Knife’. Remember Operators are standing by, and will take you order anytime, the FREE Number to call is at the bottom of your screen
(Screen counter and item number go away, and are replaced by the next item)
OK, Now we have the Special, Just for You …………..
CONGRATS TO LAURA AND KEVIN!
Thank you to everyone that played whether you submitted an entry or voted you made this fun!
!!!! .. A huge congratulations to Laura & Kevin .. !!!!
The imagination present in the submissions were simply impressive.
Cool contest, Steve .. kudos !!
Thank you kindly, D ale!
Top our winners, I apologize, having a hard time getting to the post office but I WILL mail next week. Thanks!
Thanks everyone! I never thought I would win- was just trying to build up some more entries to this great contest :)
Thanks everyone. Wow! Can't believe I won the iKC coffee mug. That's almost like the Holy Grail for a knife collector. :) Got a little busy with work and hadn't been on here in a couple of weeks. Congrats to Laura for winning the contest!