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Life is too short.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on
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Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
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Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband, David, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
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I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," I stammered. I always call him honey in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
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There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard David's voice. "Betty," he barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." David retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car?"
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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on
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OK, so sometimes we forget things.....
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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on
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Husband Down
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
˜What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
HUSBAND DOWN! HUSBAND DOWN! AISLE 7
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LMAO!!!
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In MemoriamPermalink Reply by Robert Burris on -
I don't know what "LMAO" means but I'll bet that ole boy ain't drinking beer tonight!
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That's funny.
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A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be THE Man of Your House.
Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension so that I can sleep like a baby. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I decide to have your butt cremated."
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I hope you get better soon, my friend.
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Permalink Reply by stephen tungate on
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good one pat....
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Thats certainly how I felt about getting out of a warm bed today
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