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Life is too short.
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Charles Sample on -
A blonde ran out of her house, opened her mail box, looked inside, and shut it and went back into her house. Her next door neighbor was working in his yard and saw her. After the blonde did this several times, the neighbor finally asked her why she kept doing it. She replied, "My computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
JJ and Charles - LOL!!
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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on
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Good ones.
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Have you ever felt like this?
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Or maybe been in a situation like these poor hounds.
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
LOL!
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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on
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Too Funny had to share this
My mom sent this to me and I just had to share.
To save the economy, the Government will announce
next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting
seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security
and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember
how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you.
Then it dawned on me ... oh, shoot ...
I'll see you on the bus!
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I'm not quite there yet, but it's getting close. That is funny.
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
Henny Youngman;
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do?" asks the patient. The doctor says, "I'm mad at my neighbor!"
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Charles Sample on -
A blonde was invited to a costume party. Everyone was supposed to come dressed as an Indian. So she wore a bow tie and an Arrow shirt!Jack had a tooth ache and went to the dentist. His regular dentist was on vacation but another dentist was filling in for him.
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Good ones. LOL
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Charles Sample on -
Two blondes went hunting and got lost. They wandered around for hours trying to find their way with no luck. One of them said, "We have got to have help. I have heard that a signal for help is to fire three shots in the air." The second one said OK and fired three shots. Nothing happened. The first blonde told her to do it again. The second blonde fired three more shots. Again nothing. They were getting desparate. The first blonde said, "Do it again. We have to have help!" The second blonde replied, "I can't. I'm out of arrows!"
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