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Life is too short.

I thought I would start a discussion on something not related to knives, or maybe you have something related to knives to share that might generate a smile or give someone a good laugh. We all need to see the humor in life once in a while. I get some pretty funny e-mails sent to me once in a while. The snip thing in windows 7 make it easy to copy all most anything you want. I don't know if this is the right place to do this or not, but here it is anyway. Please feel free to add something to this discussion you might find funny. You may just make some one giggle or smile.

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on December 16, 2011 at 21:10

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.
Walking through the mall the surprised wife look up and noticed her husband was no where around and she was very upset because they had a lot to do.

She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was.

The husband in a calm voice said, honey remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day.

His wife said crying, yes, I remember that jewelry store.

He said, well I'm in the bar right next to it.

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 17, 2011 at 18:50

A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. "OK Suzy" said the teacher, "please tell the class your story".

So little Suzy says "My aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot and she got shot down over Iraq and she had to eject from her plane. All she had with her was a pint of whiskey, a pistol and a knife. She decided to drink the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break if she hit the ground hard. Then she landed right in the middle of 20 bad guys. She killed 12 of them with her pistol but then she ran out of ammo, so she killed seven more with her knife but then the blade broke, so she killed the last one with a karate chop that broke his neck."

Horrified, the teacher says "Suzy, that's a terrible story. What kind of moral could it possibly have?" To which little Suzy replied "stay away from aunt Mary when she's been drinking."

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 18, 2011 at 20:39

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 18, 2011 at 21:09

I love that, Jan. Rudolph's revenge.

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 19, 2011 at 17:03

A Parrot Gift -

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then, suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"