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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on December 28, 2011 at 9:37

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 28, 2011 at 21:30

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 29, 2011 at 1:11

The latest top secret Navy SEAL weapon;

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 29, 2011 at 17:15

I dont not want to trim my hedges that bad.

 

I do want some of those little fins for Casey Dog though

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Permalink Reply by stephen tungate on December 29, 2011 at 19:21

can you get that guy over to my house to trim some bushes?

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 30, 2011 at 17:39

Kids in Church!

1. 3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen."

2. A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

3. After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

4. I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail.

5. One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

6. A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

7. Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

8. A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

9. A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

10. A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 30, 2011 at 19:31

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 30, 2011 at 20:10

Everything sounds good except the cigarette.

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 31, 2011 at 6:36

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Permalink Reply by stephen tungate on December 31, 2011 at 6:47

looks like somebody just wanted the wings...

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 31, 2011 at 11:19

Poor little thing had a rough 2011 but it's OK because it is winding down and 2012 will be the stuff dreams are made of!!!!!

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 31, 2011 at 15:58

TOP TEN PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A DARN DOG!

' 3'
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

'4'
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.

'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?

'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poopy do you?

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