Sometimes...sometimes I just want to call WR Case & Sons up and beat their butts! Somebody at Case...in management... needs their hide tanned...

Before I get into why I want to hand Case a good, old-fashioned spanking, let me give you a little backstory to fill in some gaps.

Like many knife collectors, I read the knife mags. The knife manufacturers generally do a good job of running ads in those publications, promoting their newer products. Sure...the ads generally include some hype...such is the overblown habit of modern marketers. In any event...the purpose of the ads is to motivate collectors to buy the new products. Gettin' the basic picture? Good. Read on...

WR Case & Sons has been advertising their Tony Bose Back Pocket knives. Though I consider Case's quality control to be horribly erratic (to such an extent that I now label Case as "The Bi-Polar Knife Company"), the ad gave me the itch for one of these blades.

I like wood...so I ordered up one of the Ebony handled Back Pocket knives. Got the blade in this week's mail. For all collectors, part of the fun of collecting is in seeing a new blade for the first time. So...you can imagine that I was excited to open up the spiffy box holding my new Back Pocket knife! So...here's how the unboxing went:

* Knife is nicely wrapped in it's paper. The paper exhibits absolutely no evidence of tearing. The knife should be "pristine". And it was...

* Take the knife out of the paper. While the blade is still in the "closed" position, I examine the exterior of the handle. Immediately, I notice machining marks near the lanyard hole. I'm a woodworker and so I know what I'm looking at. Blood pressure starts to rise. Not too high though because the exterior metal surfaces are all nicely polished and fit cleanly with the wood handle scales.

* I go to open up the blade and see that the dipsticks at Case have provided me yet another knife where the freaking blade isn't centered! The blade is right up against the shield-side liner. Blood pressure rising and acerbic commentary is being vocalized at booming levels. I'm built like a bear...so you imagine how loud I was.

* I open the blade...and discover that the backspring is decently strong! Hooray! The Bi-Polar knife company at least got that part right! I also see that in spite of the blade being pinched to the left, it isn't actually rubbing against the liner and getting all scratched up.

So....NOW WHAT?

A) I do like the Back Pocket design A LOT.

B) I am going to kick Case's posterior and see if they will send me a new knife that wasn't made on a Monday or a Friday by people that were hung-over.

C) I'm going to see if I can contact Tony Bose and let him know what I'm seeing from Case.

Case: I doubt very much that you are reading this...but just in "case", I'm going to give you some tips:

* Put some heat on your Quality Control people. Or...fire them and replace those pinheads with people who care.

* Oh...maybe you ought to motivate your quality control people with an incentive program. You jackwagons!

* It may be that the person handling your Human Resources needs to be sent packing. Don't hire kids that don't care, older people that don't care or any other people that "don't care".

* If you don't fix your management problems, you'll end up joining the likes of Schrade and Camilus. You doofuses!

* Replace my Back Pocket knife with something good and I'll broadcast that you at least stand behind what you make...even if we can't count on consistent quality.

* Refuse to stand behind your product and I'll do my darndest to let the world know that they shouldn't buy your knives.

Last but not least, I want to make you aware of something. Great Eastern Cutlery makes knives 100% better than yours. Consistently. So does Canal Street Cutlery. Remember those people?!!!!! You jackwagons...