WoundedEagle's Trail

The world today is a complicated, confusing place that is slowly sapping Humanity of its spirituality and inner peace. This reality is something we are urged to accept and apply in our daily living, but this is not a requirement of life! We need to make a conscious decision to change for ourselves…without influence of those around us.

Lets turn from the chaos for a moment and focus on our basic needs for survival…food, water, air, shelter, clothing and last but not least, love. Without any one of these, we will perish. These basic needs are required of all living things…Man, Animals, Plants, etc.

You may notice that Material Wealth isn’t a requirement in life. Take this point to heart. The true wealth we gain on Earth isn’t measured in material things. Those who we have influenced along life’s long and winding road in fact measure our true worth. In the long run, our final value is calculated at Heaven’s Gate.

How does a person reach the point of going back to the basics? You know, the true necessities of life?

Unfortunately, in many cases, something catastrophic forces us to face reality. These may be quite complex situations… such as the mistakes we have made in our lives, the ones we have hurt, or the relationships we have destroyed. These life experiences can make you or break you. If you choose to make these experiences your tools during the rest of your walk on this earth, you will be able to hold your head up high and remain thankful for the dawn of each and every new day.

This is the path that I chose after a MAJOR event changed my life and my “walk” forever.

Extreme cycles of abuse existed in my household. In order to break these cycles, my family reached out for help through Social Services and the Local Law Enforcement Agencies. This was a desperate cry for help that proved to be very effective. I was forcibly removed from my family and was incarcerated.

During the time I spent in Jail, I was forced to examine myself, the mistakes that I had made, and all those who had suffered because of my words, thoughts and actions. BUT, before I could see the error of my ways, I needed to die.

As I sat in a small Holding Cell in a cold county Jail, the laugh of Satan rocked me to the very depth of my soul. “I’ve got you now you Son of a Bitch!” echoed throughout my Cell. Tears of pure anguish, hate, and fear burned down my face as I cried out for Death’s blanket to surround me. However, God had another plan for me. I reached out with trembling hands and grabbed the only book I was allowed to have in my Cell…The Bible. I opened it and started to read verses at random. Then it happened. The Great Spirit reached down and KILLED me.

At that very moment in time, the worldly addicted, self-gratifying “Me” was destroyed. Then, he reached down and grabbed me firmly by the hand, pulled me to my feet and instructed me to walk a new path like no other. It isn’t an easy path…full of vines, thorns and pitfalls, but this is his will. So be it!

Jail, of course wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it is one that I can look back on and smile. That holding cell wasn’t a portal to my end, rather the gateway to a new beginning.

After serving my full sentence, I was released on a cool November morning. I jumped into my car and drove about a half a block when I realized that something was wrong. Yup. A flat tire! I’m sure the Jailers were laughing, but I didn’t care! I WAS FREE!!! The air had never smelled so fresh! A light dusting of snow made everything so clean and refreshing! A quick tire change and down the road I went!

My home had changed dramatically. It was no longer the cozy 3 bedroom 1 ½ story house in a quiet neighborhood, instead it had changed into a 1 bedroom apartment above a small business right on Main Street! OK. It wasn’t home yet, but in time I could make it do. I had never visited this small town before, but now it was my home. This was the first step on my new walk.

It was on my second day of freedom that I received the call of the wild. This is something that is hard to describe. The peace that was growing inside of me was calling out to be fed by a place of solitude and true serenity. Actually, it was more like a conversation between two kindred spirits. A conversation in which I had no control.

My soul cried out to be fed…and the heart of the Minnesota River Valley answered. A knife that I had received in trade for a pack of Cigarettes now had new meaning to me. It no longer was to be used as a weapon, rather a tool in which to aid others in their walk through life. In a small park a short distance from my new home, I set out with my knife down a well-used ATV trail.

A whirlwind of emotions surrounded me. Fear, anger, loneliness and depression attempted to engulf me. It was at that time that I first heard the call of serenity. I spotted a young sapling, standing straight and tall against the chill of the fall air.

“Use me”, it cried.

Yup…I’ve lost it! I’m Funny Farm bound! Ahhh… soon my peace would come in the fashion of a 10cc syringe, loaded with Thorazine and a nice padded room in which to vegetate.

“Cut me and make me a new creation.”

Huh? You’ve got to be kidding! All right…what do I have to lose? I cut the sapling off carefully at the base. This wasn’t easy, especially because the tool I was using was intended for cutting flesh, not wood. However, in time the tree was freed from its mooring in the earth. I held the young tree and proceeded to strip the limbs from the trunk.

I thought deeply as to what this was to become. As I worked, I took a step back and stumbled over some vines.

As I braced myself for the imminent, the stick caught me. I staggered and regained my footing. My mission was clear now and my focus renewed. I should have fallen, but I was saved by this life that had been given for me. I stripped the bark from the sapling and brought it home.

The process of progress is a slow and tedious one. How one measures this progress is very difficult. Physical progress is rather easy to see, while emotional progress can only be measured in time.

I sat alone in my kitchen, slowly shaping the crown of my wooden savior. The knots in this walking stick proved to be rather difficult to work with, but success was the only option…failure was not. The knots were carved down to an acceptable texture and the tedious process of drying began.

I had no fancy drying machine to aid in this process, just a small, wall mounted furnace with a rather powerful fan that circulated heat throughout my apartment. This is where the stick found it’s temporary resting place.

Due to the nature of my incarceration, it was one of my conditions of probation to complete a formal program of therapy and after care.

I was hesitant at first because I didn’t want to face the atrocities of my past. I wanted to forget and get on with my new life. But, that was not to be the case. In order to be healed, I had to face the ill of my ways.

My counselor, “Ted” is of Native American heritage and has a depth to him that cannot be measured. I told him of my experience in the heart of the Minnesota River Valley.

I shared, in great detail, the selection, cutting, and shaping of the stick. He listened quietly, absorbing my every word. When I finished my Tale, he sat in silence. After a few moments, he looked up from his notebook.

“When you took the tree, what did you leave in its place?” he asked.

“Huh?” I replied.

“What right do you have to take something that isn’t yours, turn your back, and walk away? What price did you pay for it?”

He was right. I had stolen the stick. But, from whom?

“In all of life, there is a give and take. We go to the store and PURCHASE food. The cashier totals the value of the items we have selected and then we pay for them. The exchange is complete. We express love towards another person and we receive a response in return. Once again, the exchange has been made.”

I had stolen from nature and, in fact, God.

“The next time you cut a tree, make sure you make an exchange. In the Native American tradition, we would make a gift of Tobacco, a drop of our own blood, or something of great value to us. I encourage you to do the same.”

The next day I trudged back to the woods like a little boy who had taken a piece of candy from the Five and Dime without paying for it and was caught by Mom. My exchange was to be made in the form of a fine, darkly roasted style of Coffee.

I left the woods that day with a much deeper understanding regarding the exchange between man and all other living things.

The feelings that I experienced that day cannot be described, only experienced and absorbed. A seed had been planted. Peace had begun to grow within me. "WoundedEagle" was born.