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I'll bet this neighborhood is "fun" during elections LOL
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK...
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2lb can of coffee
A 1lb package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on to the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr Right. I looked at the 6 items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that would have tipped the off the drunk to my marital status..
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, ' Cause you're ugly.'
OMG, I laughed so hard I cried. That is funny
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
i agree jj....good one..
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.
After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.
The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, ''Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place
HaHaHaHaHa
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