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Life is too short.

I thought I would start a discussion on something not related to knives, or maybe you have something related to knives to share that might generate a smile or give someone a good laugh. We all need to see the humor in life once in a while. I get some pretty funny e-mails sent to me once in a while. The snip thing in windows 7 make it easy to copy all most anything you want. I don't know if this is the right place to do this or not, but here it is anyway. Please feel free to add something to this discussion you might find funny. You may just make some one giggle or smile.

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 2, 2013 at 0:57

Women aren't suppose to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas - so instead they gripe so they don't blow up.

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on May 2, 2013 at 5:20

ROFL!

No we dont sweat, we glow...I will let you decide about the rest

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on May 2, 2013 at 12:13

LETTER FROM MOM

Dearest Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt, Mom

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on May 2, 2013 at 20:29

Ha! ha! Ha! Those were good ones.

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 3, 2013 at 0:12

I LOVE W.C. Fields!

- "Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."

- "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."

- "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

- (In a restaurant to waitress): "I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here."

- (Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."

- "How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon--and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter."

- Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."

- "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday."

- "I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad."

- "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 3, 2013 at 15:11

Too bad this kind of comedy isn't thought of as funny today. I love it!!!

Craig Henry said:

These kinda remind me of Henny Youngman - anyone here old enough to remember him?!

- My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning; can
you believe that ... 2:30 am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

- I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

- My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."

- The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 3, 2013 at 15:14

ROFLMAO!!!!! I'll bet she didn't even chuckle.

J.J. Smith III said:

Subject: Texting

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!"

The husband, typically nonromantic, replied,
"I am on the toilet. Please advise."

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 3, 2013 at 15:17

Don't ya just love letters from home? LOL

Billy Oneale said:

Ha! ha! Ha! Those were good ones.

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 3, 2013 at 16:46

I don't get today's comedy :unsure:

Chuck Parham said:

Too bad this kind of comedy isn't thought of as funny today. I love it!!!

Craig Henry said:

These kinda remind me of Henny Youngman - anyone here old enough to remember him?!

- My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning; can
you believe that ... 2:30 am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

- I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

- My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."

- The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on May 6, 2013 at 11:58

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become? * It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping? * No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? * Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?* No time at all, the wall is already built."
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? * Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.