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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 17, 2013 at 0:32

“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 17, 2013 at 5:20

And these are wrong, why????

Billy Oneale said:

Ok, heres what happens when the women leave us to our own way of thinking.

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 17, 2013 at 5:33

Women are always telling us to be "perfectly" honest when we answer their questions. I just wonder why they are always so quiet after we do? If we, as men, are expected to answer questions with desired answers whay aren't we issued a manual of sorts? These questions can be riskier than navigating a minefield, blindfolded at midnight, in a blinding snowstorm, while being drunk out of your mind. Some examples:

1. Do these pants make my butt look fat?

2. Where have you been?

3. Do you think that woman is pretty?

4. Why don't you take me hunting/fishing with you and the boys?

5. Would you mind if my mother spends the summer with us?

6. Was that tramp from down the street talking to you?

7. If you could change something about me, what would it be?

8. Would you want me to get breast implants?

9. Would you tell me anything I want to know about your ex girlfriend/ wife?

10. What would you do if I ever left you?

 

I would appreciate a little latitude when I answer any of these questions with the option of making a full retraction without repercussions.

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 17, 2013 at 5:42

My father had a more simplistic approach. Eat it or else!

Craig Henry said:

“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on May 17, 2013 at 6:24

Do these pants make my butt look fat?   No ma'am...just right

2. Where have you been?                       I stopped by a store.  I have an idea for your birthday but I cant tell you about it yet

3. Do you think that woman is pretty?  Yes she is but nowhere near the beauty I have at home

4. Why don't you take me hunting/fishing with you and the boys?  The boys just dont appreciate how wonderful it can be to have you with us.  I am working on it

5. Would you mind if my mother spends the summer with us? Hey I think that is a great idea, lets invite my mom too

6. Was that tramp from down the street talking to you?  Well she was saying something but I just was not listening

7. If you could change something about me, what would it be?  I would have met you earlier in life

8. Would you want me to get breast implants?  Why would I want someone messing with your natural beauty?

9. Would you tell me anything I want to know about your ex girlfriend/ wife?  Well anything I can remember but I never think about her

10. What would you do if I ever left you?....Your own your own with this one guys LOL

Now...whatever you do dont tell your wives I shared the manual

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Charles Sample on May 18, 2013 at 0:31

Two blonde sisters each had a horse.  They always had trouble telling them apart.  One of the sisters said she would trim her horse's mane.  Then it would be easy to tell them apart.  It worked until the horse's mane grew back.  Then the other sister said she would trim her horse's tail.  That too only worked for a short time.  Finally one of the sisters said that they should measure the horses.  Maybe one was bigger than the other.  They measured them and sure enough, the white one was two inches taller than the black one!

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 18, 2013 at 0:51

LOL! That sounds more like my parents too! They were from Pennsylvania.....hmmm LOL!

Chuck Parham said:

My father had a more simplistic approach. Eat it or else!

Craig Henry said:

“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”

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Permalink Reply by peter force on May 18, 2013 at 13:42

when it comes to women... i will never get it.

 

my soon to be ex...say she would say a word wrong..i would simly tell her how to say it  WHY?..cause i cared about her when she was in public...didnt want her to slip ,look the fool just for me to tell her later that i knew how to say it or spell it and get yelled at for not telling her... BUT...if i did tell her before anything would happen i was a "know it all" and this and that... she would get all mad and yell at me "for correcting her!" ...either way ...why is it that were wrong -either way!??... LOL..

ALSO WHEN IT CAME TO FOOD AS KIDS ...and im from philly,PA..but i think it had to do with more the fact that we were poor and in my house you didnt take your eyes off your plate..."my brother is still skinny today becuase of me swipping half his meals!...LOL.  and their was no LEAVINGS!...everything got ate... i mean we use to even get that GOVERMENT CHEESE!...MMMMMMMMM ...why was that so good??

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 29, 2013 at 16:55

"Dogs Welcome"

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. 
He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. 
He is well-groomed
And very well behaved. 
Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote: 
SIR: "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. 
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. 
And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. 
Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. 
And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

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Permalink Reply by Chuck Parham on May 29, 2013 at 17:10

Peter, you must be fairly young. I am in my late fifties so let me make an obersvation for you if I may. No matter how long you live you will never be able to figure out a woman. Just treat them with dignity, respect, and the understanding that they are our gift from God. Give her your time and attention instead of flowers, although flowers are acceptable at times. Cover her with your love and protection, not jewels and furs. Jewels and furs are OK for certain events. Show her that she is your only reason for existing and no other woman could ever even hold her shoes. Do all of this and you will have a wonderful relationship. Do this and you we be the man and ruler of your castle. Do it not and Hell will have met its match!

 

Honey, did I say everything right?
 
peter force said:

when it comes to women... i will never get it.

 

my soon to be ex...say she would say a word wrong..i would simly tell her how to say it  WHY?..cause i cared about her when she was in public...didnt want her to slip ,look the fool just for me to tell her later that i knew how to say it or spell it and get yelled at for not telling her... BUT...if i did tell her before anything would happen i was a "know it all" and this and that... she would get all mad and yell at me "for correcting her!" ...either way ...why is it that were wrong -either way!??... LOL..

ALSO WHEN IT CAME TO FOOD AS KIDS ...and im from philly,PA..but i think it had to do with more the fact that we were poor and in my house you didnt take your eyes off your plate..."my brother is still skinny today becuase of me swipping half his meals!...LOL.  and their was no LEAVINGS!...everything got ate... i mean we use to even get that GOVERMENT CHEESE!...MMMMMMMMM ...why was that so good??

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on May 29, 2013 at 19:00

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on May 29, 2013 at 23:51

LOL!!

I'm still on chapter two.

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