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Life is too short.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on
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Just what ya'll need around here. A women with two mouths
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
This is the girl of my dreams..........
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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
LOL!
I don't know why I'm laughing, that looks like me!
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The 5 benefits of having Arthritis
1 - You are on a first name basis at the pharmacy.
2 - You have many medical deductions to include on your income tax return.
3 - You no longer have to wear pantyhose and high heels
4 - The phrase "no pain, no gain" does not apply to you.
5- You often get complimented on your age by being told, "You're too young to have arthritis".
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
Some Oldies.........
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife and I got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea.
My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
I was just in London; there is a 6-hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? " The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on
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Craig, I don't know where you come up with some of these. They are all good.
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Jan, I believe the conspiracy theories abound.
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
AMEN!
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While on a road trip, an elderly couple
stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.
After finishing their meal, they left the
restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly
left her glasses on the table, and she didn't
miss them until they had been driving for
about forty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they
had to travel quite a distance before
they could find a place to turn
around, in order to return to the restaurant
to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband
became the classic grouchy old man.
He fussed and complained, and
scolded his wife relentlessly during the
entire return drive. The more he
chided her, the more agitated he became. He
just wouldn't let up for a single minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the
car, and hurried inside to retrieve
her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,
While you're in there, you might as well
get my hat and the credit card.
White River Knives
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