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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 6, 2011 at 17:06

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 6, 2011 at 19:04

JJ,

Be careful, you know they love you but Santa may decide you need some treats 

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 6, 2011 at 21:24

#5 would be a surefire mess.

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 6, 2011 at 21:25

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on December 6, 2011 at 22:42

Jan, that looks as good as what we stock down to the gift shop...

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on December 7, 2011 at 10:08

The older we get....

Recently, when
I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or
twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a
half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and
ordered six McNuggets

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Permalink Reply by stephen tungate on December 7, 2011 at 12:55

that goes to show you that electronics runs this world.recently the cash registers went out at my wifes work they had to give change back by hand. and the younger teenagers did not know how to give the change back by hand.they was so used to the registers telling you how much to give back....

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 7, 2011 at 16:39

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.'

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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on December 7, 2011 at 16:50

Back in the early 80's (REAL early 80's) I worked at a conveniance store.  I trained on an old cash register that could be cranked when the power went off. 

Course you had to figure out all the tax and change yourself

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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on December 7, 2011 at 16:55

You appreciate this.  Our buddy sells 5 dozen bait shrimp for $5.00.  The bait store next to him sells 50 bait shrimp for $5.00.  People will come into our buddies store and ask him to match the guy next doors offer.

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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on December 7, 2011 at 23:01

We love that story.

Craig Henry said:

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.'

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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on December 7, 2011 at 23:39

LOL!!!!!

Oh my gosh Billy, that has to be one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen! I almost hurt myself laughing!

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