Okay folks! Its contest time again. And today we have for you a never before used contest! New in box with paperwork written by none other than William Shakespeare in a rare phase of his, after his Blue Period, that many highly respected historians call his Sharp Period. The box is completely made of 100% recycled Neanderthal organic toilet paper and is completely biodegradable! This contest was carried by Admiral Byrd on his incredibly famous trek to Timbuktu (slightly less famous than his expedition to the South Pole) and has a signed certificate from his aesthetician responsible for his pedicures and general foot health, Paula L. Piggy. Sealed away in a designer Gucci waterproof sleeping bag once used by the Captain of the Titanic, the contest was perfectly preserved in an airtight room in the Russian space station until it crashed to earth and was found by a roving band of Irish geologists in Guadalupe searching for the lost King Solomon's treasure. After the geologists were captured by rogue vegan ballet dancers, this contest made its way across Europe only to be seized by Paul Franco Bunjoor, senior fungus advisor to King Eugene of Atlantis before being stolen again by rioting Belgian throat singers, after a Dali Lama concert went terribly wrong. After being presumed missing for a million and three years, it was found by Stephen Hawking's barber whilst on safari in East Greenland where he generously donated it to the Louvre' museum. After an incredibly successful tour of the most famous kindergarten cloakrooms of Monte Carlo, it was released to the public where we spared no expense to obtain it to bring it to you, our members! Our senior aquisititions and relic analyst went to great lengths to bring this to you, including learning to do the Macarena in a pink tu-tu and lime green leg warmers while wearing soccer cleats and singing the Peruvian National Anthem in Yiddish accompanied by the Village people and David Hasslehoff.

But wait!!! There's more!!!

The winner of our contest, after submitting their entries in a sealed, platinum laced solid gold cubic zirconium powdered sheep’s bladder, which will be stored in an impenetrable child proof Aspirin container (once owned by Dr. Ugh Gruunt, special advisor and senior theoretical physicist to the inventor of the wheel, Rolly Treadless) and buried 37 1/2 thousand leagues under the sea (since 40 000 was copywrited) until judging. Judging will be done by YOU, our millions of members! A contest of this magnitude has not been seen since the infamous 1733 riots when Sheik Abu Bakashooshoo's titanium plated left toenail was put up on Ebay for a ridiculous 14 deutschmarks. Insanity! The lengths we go to for our billions of valued members is honestly, quite staggering! So for you, our trillions of members, and the bazillion people watching with bated breath across the globe, here are the rules!

Okay...I hope you all get where I am going with this. For this contest, I will post a photo of a knife. For the chance to win our contest, you must make an advertisement for this knife in the picture. Said ad will be as absurd and crazy as you can get it! Materials, lineage, assembly, history and owners are completely up to you. Get silly! Get ridiculous! Your imagination (and a PG rating) is the only limitation. Entries will be submitted to me VIA email or messaged through IKC so that people's ideas will be original and unaffected by other entries. After one week, I will post the entries here on IKC, and phase two of the contest will commence. Members who have not entered a submission to the contest will then have the chance to vote on their favourite ad and choose our winner!

Anyone submitting an entry for the contest will have the chance to win a Trestle Pines knife:

Old Growth Ash Handle Superior

Wharncliffe Blade

CPM154 Steel

3.75" OAL Closed

2 13/16" Blade (bolster to tip)

Cut Swedge Top of Blade

Flat Grind

Half Stops

Brass Bolsters

Brass Pins & Liners

But wait! After all entries are submitted and posted, you will have the chance to vote on your favourite entry and win a genuine one of a kind iKC Coffee mug!! The winner of this coffee mug will be chosen from the members who did not submit an advertisement but voted on the entries. Those of you who enter an ad may vote as well, but not for yourself, and will *not* be eligible for the secondary prize. I will leave the voting open for one week.

So get those creative juices flowing and channel your inner used car salesman! Let's see those advertisements!

SELL THIS KNIFE!!

Send entries to knives@manxnet.ca and I will send a confirmation email back to acknowledge your entry to the contest. I will also post in this thread who has submitted entries. After one week, I will post all entries received to this thread for everyone to read, enjoy and vote on. *Everyone* is able to vote on entries, staff included, but any entrants voting cannot vote for their own entry. Good luck to all! And remember…this all goes by member votes, so be as creative and imaginative as you can, folks!