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Life is too short.
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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on
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You sure got all that right.
Craig Henry said:Differences Between men and Women;
NICKNAMES · If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy and Sarah. · If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
EATING OUT · When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.. · When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY · A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. · A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS · A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. · The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. · Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. · A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. · A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. · A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL · Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.. · Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING · Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. · A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on
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JJ,
That is amazing!!!
Craig,
That all sounds right to me
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Permalink Reply by J.J. Smith III on
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Ha Ha ha.
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Florida Crazy Law
- Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
- It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. - It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
- Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
- It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
- Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
- It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
- A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
- Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
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How many have been arrested for fart violations?. I'll pass on the porcupine.
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That's good!
Jan Carter said:
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I think that Jan started something;
CRAZY LAWS - SOUTH CAROLINA
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays, but It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
A permit must be obtained to fire a missile.
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
Horses are to wear pants at all times. (Fountain Inn )
Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.
A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people.
Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.
Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.
No work may be done on Sunday.
An exception to the above law is that light bulbs may be sold.
Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.
It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
LOCAL LAWS
The Fire Department may blow up your house. This law was made so that the fire department could create a fire brake. (Charleston )
It is against the law to drive a motorized vehicle on King Street. (Charleston )
Lifeguards must be present at apartment complex pools, but only after 11:00 PM. (Clemson )
Sexually oriented businesses may not open for business on Sundays. (Clemson )
Bitches in heat shall be confined. (Clemson )
The drinking age on Furman University campus is 60 years old. (Greenville )
It is illegal to dance in public in Lancaster. (Lancaster County )
Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden. (Spartanburg)
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