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Life is too short.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jan Carter on
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Remember when we put dimes in out penny loafers so we would have $ to make a phone call?
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Permalink Reply by Billy Oneale on
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And one more thing , I know because I have already been there.
Jan Carter said:Wow Sue we had the same Mom!!!
Sue OldsWidow said:My Mother
Taught Me About...
1. My Mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about
RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get
home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What
were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to
me!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off
that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with
me."
5. My Mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to freeze that way."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK
AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a
good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn
mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN
ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just
like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my
ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF
AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
And
last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about
JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just
like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"
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ROFL Billy,
when my son was teenager I used to call my mom and cry...take it back!!!
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Permalink Reply by Steve Hanner on
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Now that's funny in a money saving way!
Billy Oneale said:
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Ha ha!
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
LOL! These are all good!
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MAKING THE MOST OF A BAD SITUATION
An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very hard and difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, just like the old days.
Love, Papa
Dear Papa,Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love You, Vinnie
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THAT is funny!!!
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One of the best come backs I have ever seen
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That's funny.
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FeaturedPermalink Reply by Craig Henry on -
Your Duck is Dead--
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?""Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman...
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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